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I am going to tell you about what’s happening to me from deep in the middle of it… I’ll likely have more to say on this later, when I’m on the other side… but for now, this is what’s going on, and what I think and feel about it. 
You may have noticed that my previous post was unusually stilted…not flowing. Half present. Yeah…I noticed it too. See, that update, I’ve been wanting to write it for a couple weeks now. It felt important to keep a running log of my progress and what I’m going through…perhaps for others who will go through the same thing? I dunno.
The thing is, I never felt like writing it. The idea felt right and good and very important, but I never got into the groove to write. Again, I don’t know why… So, that post, the previous one about the Dawn update, was, well…forced. Hehe It’s all important stuff! I’ve just been going through some strange things lately… And that’s what I’m going to tell you about now.
I am swinging from polar opposites in perception and it is incredibly disorienting! I’m all over the place! And I am entirely out of control of it… An interesting pattern I’ve noticed is that it’s following the chakra column in a way… Over and over, in stages. Not just once, but in waves. Like, I’ll feel very solid and very much into physical exercise and the like (root chakra) and then I’ll feel totally ungrounded and utterly uninterested in exercise.
I’ll feel a surge of creative and sexually charged energy – and then I’ll suddenly have the creativity and sensual nature of a brick. (sacral chakra). I’ll know who I am and be practically singing with love of being alive, feeling so powerful…and then I’ll feel lost and meek. (solar plexus chakra)
I’ll feel incredibly connected to all that is, seeing the incredible symphony of creation, of love, of energy in everthing around me – a blade of grass, a rock, and oh my god people are SO beautiful. And then I’ll have the feeling of no connection whatsoever, total isolation and fear of attack. (heart chakra)
And, of course, I’ll feel flowing in expression, able to convey what I desire with a cascade of words that surprise even me – imagery, emotion, all there in the words in nuances and layers. And then nothing, stilted mumbling and undetailed lumps of expression. (throat chakra)
I’ll see so clearly, the connections between things, the depth of energy, and the height… and then I’ll be able to see nada, zip, zero, unable to connect worth a damn… (third-eye chakra) And last but not least, I’ll feel as if everything is moving in perfect rhythm, all as it should be my being alive playing a part in a perfect, larger whole…buzzing with life and love…and then, just a lump, unsure of my place in the world and feeling lost and left behind. (crown chakra)
You can imagine what havoc this is playing with my life. o.O I had no idea what was going on…I can’t see myself at all, can’t read my energy, it’s like I’m locked out of my own being and it’s really…uncomfortable, disorienting and, well, discombobulating! I can’t focus on anything – distracted very easily, feverishly obsessed with some things and totally not even noticing others that I should be noticing…
I had no idea, and then I went to see Steve today, he of the Reiki and AquaCleanse etc. On the drive, I thought it over (it’s a long drive, 45 minutes) and tried to feel, tried to be. My body felt fuzzy, not there, yet as if it had a high watt current running through it at the same time. My fingers have been buzzing for a couple days, and my elbows and finger joints hurt to an unsual degree.
When I drive…I extend my wings. Sounds funny, I know, but I do – I breath out the back of my heart chakra and streeeetch them out. Why only then? No clue, guess I get bored 
Anyway…I went to do that today and, nothing. No wings. o.O This bother(s)ed me a great deal… I’ve played with them ever since I learned how to do it in the Faerie’s Oracle book by Brian Froud, and… Nothing! Ehn. Ehhhnnnnn. Nothing. Closed down. I feel so isolated. o.O
I reviewed what I knew: I’ve gone vegetarian. I’m doing a rapid detox. The end of the year is coming with all that energy of renewal. From what I’ve come to understand, when you detox out the toxins in your body, it becomes a better vehicle for the energy of your soul. Like getting an upgrade so you can run more wattage.
I asked Steve to take a moment and get a reading on my energy before we began the detox sessoin for the week, and he said that my channel (the one used for running energy in energy healing, etc.) is wide open and much clearer and streaming that before. (Higher wattage – like going from a phone line internet connection to a fiber optics one ) And that energy is rolling off my body like crazy – roller coaster time. But that overall there is an upward trend in the amount of energy my body is able to hold and convey.
So what happens when you’re in the middle of upgrading? Everything goes all wonky as its integrated. Parts of me are integrated, and others aren’t. There is a Divide going on while my ampage is going up. My body is on one side and my energy body is on the other and I’m somewhere in the middle between them coming into sync with each other.
Steve said that he went through this when he went vegetarian, too, and knows what it feels like. Said it took about 2 months. o.O 2 months?! Well, here’s hoping I started that a while back and it’s almost over. :} He said to ground often, foot stomp and go around barefoot. Lots of water. Chocolate. And avoid crowded places.
I can do that. Especially the chocolate part…
I’ll continue to post here as new things happen. I wonder what it will be like on the other side!
A lot has happened in my life the last month or so! Big changes! I felt it was about time I wrote a bit of an update on the major stuff.
Going Vegetarian
A while back ago I wrote about the experience I had with hives. Talk about a life altering experience! It threw me for a huge loop, and shook loose a great deal of stuff! In a nutshell, I went to see my friend Steve for some energy work, and for the first time I asked him to concentrate on my elbows and hands, where the last vestages of rheumatoid arthritis still have a strong real foothold.
I felt extremely ‘weird’, for lack of a better way of putting it, afterward. As if it had pushed me into some new place I had never been before, and it was taking me some time to get my bearings. Not long after, less than 12hrs – The Hives.
It was during this time that I got pushed to the edge of mental, physical, spiritual and emotional endurance…it really shattered me as I detoxed out, body wide, a TON of stuff that had been making me sick. And as I began to recover, so did my mind, body, spirit and emotions. I put myself back together better, stronger, more flexible and open than ever.
It was also during this time that I totally lost my appetite! At first I couldn’t eat at all, and then a pattern began to emerge. I realized that when preparing the side items I would be very hungry, but once I had the main meal item on my plate – my appetite would go out the window…
Finally I got to a point where I tried putting side items on my plate, no meat – and my appetite was fine! And so it came that on Thanksgiving day I put some turkey on my plate and all I saw was grey. Steve put it perfectly. All I felt was, “There’s a dead bird on my table!”
When I say all I saw as grey, I mean that literally… it was as if at the corner of my vision I was almost seeing something… And the grey was anti-life. The salad was lit up like a beacon…and the meat was this dead, lifeless thing. I took a bite out of sense of duty and was revolted. I’ve been a vegetarian ever since.
The changes were pretty immediate and intense. The first experience was my realization that I didn’t think a meal was a meal unless there was meat involved. I kept turning to my husband and saying, “Well, 5 days, and I’m not dead yet!”
My face cleared up of acne that I’ve had since forever…since I was 11 years old. My skin feels totally different now, very soft… My energetic sensitivity has gone through the roof, which is especially apparent when doing energy work.
I was working on a man long distance whose name I did not know. I didn’t even know what he really looked like, or where he was. All I knew was that he had bronchitus. But I could see the energy working in his body plain as day – as he stated his intention that I connect to his energy he lit up like a beacon!
I could see that he had clenched down in the solar plexus and heart area because so much change had occurred that he was ‘afraid to breath’. I knew he had changed jobs recently. I could see and work with his energy with something almost like a heads up display with certain parts of his body transparent and others not, all color coded and in motion showing energy, where it was going and what it was doing, and all under the control of my desire to focus on whatever I wanted.
It was unreal. o.O I’m slowly warming up to it, but it was so out there in woo woo land that, in all honesty, it scared me. 
I didn’t expect it, but I can see it’s going to be intensely powerful, and soon I will feel at home working with it. It’s just… so out there! The man confirming everything I said as I said it (long distance in a chatbox) helped a lot, but the skeptic in me is still slow to warm up to such out there things.
A New Dawn
The process of putting myself back together after the hives experience was amazing. The contrast I experienced showed me exactly what it was I really wanted, and gave me a reason to reach for it. I have, since then, shifted my focus to my well being in an entirely new way. And it’s wonderful!
In moving out of the experience of my body insisting on a rapid detox through the skin, I have begun to do more exercise, more relaxation, more all around letting go. I am feeling so good now! I am better now than I was before the hives, or, perhaps, ever!
I have come to realize that it’s the tension that I hold so regularly (always?) that is causing so much of the pain and dysfunction in my body. I am now doing everything I can to get my energy flowing, to stop clenching down on my own well being.
AquaClense
In my work with Steve, I backed off working on the elbows and hands for now. With the hives experience, I’m instead working on a major detoxing. I would rather not have to experience that again, and realizing that it was triggered by my turning to face the last vestiges of dis-ease in my body led me to understand – it’s time to get the gunk out!
Exercise, especially cardio, and lots of water is helping with this. But also…a new thing, once again offered by Steve. (Noticing the trend in the remarkable healing this guy is bringing to my life? I am! ) AquaClense.
This was way out there in woo woo land, big time for me. My skeptic alarm started blaring the first time I saw it at this place of work, and didn’t stop until I woke up one morning not long after the hives experience with a sudden total knowing that I had to go do this. Immediately. I didn’t even really have the money I would need to do it, but I had enough to start. I made an appointment that day.
What this thing is, basically, is a footbath that draws toxins out of your body using a very low electric current. Honestly? I didn’t research it much. I knew my skeptic’s side would close right back down on that knowing and I likely wouldn’t allow myself to experience if I researched it.
So! I went and found a link just for people reading this blog entry, and urge you to go take a look for yourself if you feel led to do so.
http://www.healinglodge.co.uk/bodydetox.htm
What I can vouch for is that it works. I am feeling the effects of it and…I feel totally different. Like I had a haze of gunk in me, lain over my perception of everything. I’m sure going vegetarian has helped, but this is even more intense, and I’m noticing myself, my widening perception and energy sensitivity going up in notches in direct correlation with going and having this done.
SecondLife
Wow, where do I begin?! First off, Second Life isn’t lying with its name – it is a Second Life, a virtual one. A virtual reality environment has now been created and made available over the internet, free to the public, that so closely mimics ‘real life’ as to be uncanny. Real life without many of the limitations. There, you can fly – literally. And create anything your heart and mind can conceive of.
You can talk with people all around the world at the same time, and there’s even a handy tool that translates languages for you so even language is no longer a barrier. You can look any way you like. My avatar looks just like me, but I’ve seen dragons the size of large houses, people walking around looking just like tweety bird from loony toons. My husband has chosen the shape of an anthropomorphic blue skunk!
At any given time there are more than 10,000 people all logged in at once, able to teleport to or speak to anyone else logged in. At its highest I’ve seen it at 18,000. There are 2 million active members. There is a viable economy, and real money is being exchanged for services on Second Life all the time. Libraries, schools and businesses have begun making homes there.
IBM has an area where they have all the latest on programmed technology available. Scion and Nissan and Pontiac have created areas where you can preview their cars and actually get one for free to drive around in Second Life. Classes are taking place all the time on a variety of subjects, and people are giving speeches and the like. Even giving live concerts!
Tomorrow a friend I made and I will be holding a cleansing ceremony and drumming circle, where everyone will get to dance and drum and release for the Winter Solstice – and I do mean that literally. Energy knows no bounds, and Second Life has set the human mind free.
It wasn’t long after I joined (November 18th) that I began pondering on the possibilities of teaching and healing in such a space, of knowledge of the law of attraction spreading through this medium. I found myself drawn to an area, lands they call them, called Mystica. There I rented a space and began Wake Up and Smell the Bliss – a learning center.
The center features articles and all kinds of information on the Law of Attraction, and on Energy Healing, free to anyone who may wish to join the Smell the Bliss community group that has now been created – or who drops by out of the blue. I will also be offering live guided meditations over internet radio.
Already people are being drawn out of the woodwork to teach there, hold meditations and do healing work. More so people are being drawn there to learn more about how they can bring more happiness into their lives, and to be healed. The center is scheduled to open on January 7th.
If you decide to join Second Life and would like to come to the opening events, or would like to just drop by any time, here is a special internet address for you to click to come directly to the Wake Up and Smell the Bliss center.
Click Here to go to the Center in Second Life!
And, to bring this post to a close, as I’ve been growing and expanding through all of this – the hives, the going vegetarian, the aquaclense and becoming a new Dawn… My avatar on SecondLife has been subtly altering along with me. My good friend Sendao Goodman caught a snapshot of me there, recently… One that just about brought tears to my eyes… Here it is.
Big topic, eh? The following are some intuitive leap thoughts I made after writing the last post on emotion being the sixth sense, and then sleeping on it. Woke up (again) with a flood of new thoughts and connections. I love when that happens. The new thoughts went in two different directions. I’ll go with the first one first – disease.
I have come to understand that all disease has an emotional component, from Caroline Myss, and Louise Hay’s work, most notably You Can Heal Your Life. Every disease known to man has an emotional origin, and you can bet none of those origins are happiness or joy. No, it seems they’re usually anger related, or guilt, or fear, or something along those lines.
Abraham-Hicks (Ask and it is Given pg 297) says that there is a spectrum of emotion, an emotional scale is how they refer to it, with Joy/Knowledge/Empowerment/Freedom/Love/Appreciation on one end and Fear/Grief/Depression/Despair/Powerlessness on the other, and Overwhelment and Disappointment somewhere right in the middle.
They also say that we are constantly in the flow of well being. Life Force comes to us, through food, through the air that we breath, through just being a part of All That Is. And that when we feel bad emotionally, we are cutting off our own flow to that energy of well being.
What I’m finding is that disease basically comes from the holding of an emotion from the lower end of the scale for an extended period. Something I find absolutely fascinating is that different emotions stem the flow in different ways! So, by noting someone’s disease, you can extrapolate how they created it – and how they can uncreate it.
Now, making the jump from there to the concept that emotions aren’t actually things, but the experience of sensing an energetic flow, I made up the following definition:
Disease is the holding of an energy pattern that stems the life force flowing to particular parts of our bodies long enough that the habitual lack of life force becomes reflected on a physical level.
Our cells are constantly regenerating. I’ve heard it said that the body fully regenerates itself over the span of 7 years, with many cells dying and being replaced every day! We shed our skin all the time. Even the cells of our bones are being replaced! And reprogrammed…with the programming that we give them with the energy blueprint that we choose by the thoughts that we think and the feelings that we feel.
What if those cells are being formed in an energy stagnant environment…like a lake whose water source has become only a trickle, so it has begun to stagnate and become unviable. What if those cells think that’s the way it’s always been and will always be – half starved. What if…aging can be attributed to this process, as far as aging taking place as cells have less than their 100% optimal energy flow, with each new generation of cells degenerating farther and farther as time goes by, compounding the aging process? Interesting thought. Anyway!
So! On to the second leap – what then is Energy Healing? Reiki, Chios, Quantum Touch, Pranic Healing, Holographic Healing, Shambhalla, etc. etc. I’ve studied those and more and have become a practitioner of many of them. Enough to find that, in my experience, all of them are just different brand names placed upon the same basic concept:
Energy healing is the perception of a patient’s current energetic state of flow, the transference of an extra measure of life force energy, and the re-patterning of dysfunctional patterns of flow that make themselves known by how they stem life force.
In most modalities the practitioner will begin by doing some kind of scan of the person’s energy to see what’s going on, first, finding out just where dysfunction is occurring in the energetic flow. They will then draw in an extra measure of life force and begin to channel it the patient in a variety of ways.
So… Maintaining that disease is created through thinking the same life-flow stemming thoughts over and over, and thus experiencing the same emotions (the same energy pattern) over and over to the point that they’re reflected in the physical body… … … What, then, does energy healing do, exactly?
My thoughts are that energy work, at its most essential, gives the body back what it’s been starving for: Life Force. It eases the pressure of dysfunctional energetic patterns, by breathing new life into the areas that have been stagnating. It also helps to resume the original energetic pattern of health, allowing for a greater flow of life force energy in the person’s body. It reminds the body of what ‘healthy’ looks like.
Does energy work change a person’s thoughts, beliefs and emotions? I don’t think so… I think it just gives them relief from the box that they’ve created for themselves by so many years of thinking and feeling the same thing, by clearing away some of the detritus that has formed over time due to the dysfunctional patterns of energy flow.
Given that breath of fresh air, the various starving parts of their body dug out from under their own sea of energetic gunk and stagnation, the person is free to think outside of their own box. Free-er, anyway. By thinking new thoughts, by feeling new, better feeling feelings, new patternings of energy flow begin to arise – patterns of flow that aren’t dysfunctional. And thus the person’s health returns.
Of course, they’re free to maintain their dysfunctional ways of thinking and feeling. That hook is still there, the originating vibratory pattern can not be erased, just offered a new option. It is up to free will as to whether the person will remain thinking about and feeling what’s known and safe (even if uncomfortable), or if they will think and feel outside of the box their world has been contained in for so long.
That, I believe, is where the real healing takes place. And that is why an energy healer is just a fascilitator – they can’t do the healing for the patient. They can just offer the patient a way to ease out of their dis-ease.
I believe that this is as it should be – if someone could just snap their fingers and be totally well, they would never learn why it was that the dysfunctional thoughts weren’t serving them. They would never have a reason to change, or an impetus to reach for something better. Something happier and thus more full of the life force that is, at its very essence, the truth of who they really are. They would have no reason to remember.
This is a copy of a post that I just made to The Universal Empath101 Forum
‘ello! 
Been thinking… I have been playing around with an idea, getting a feel for it, and decided – what better place than here to get others’ thoughts on it!
The premise idea isn’t a new one – Abraham Hicks and others have been saying it for years. It’s the idea that emotions aren’t actually things – they’re the experience of sensing something. They’re our way of sensing just how we are flowing our energy.
So, on the basis of accepting the above as true… What exactly is an empath then? People speak of empathy as being the ability to experience the emotions of others. They also speak of the occasional problematic side effect that they sometimes take those emotions on and make them their own… As if emotions are a bucket of water, and by experiencing someone else’s bucket for a moment, we inadvertently pour some of their water into our own bucket…
And yet, did you ever notice how taking on the other person’s stuff doesn’t actually make their life any different, or their emotions any less…? If anything, it magnifies it!
Here’s my thought. What if, as empaths, our ability to perceive energy flow has moved outside of our ability to perceive our own energy flow – to the ability to perceive other’s energy flow…
That, in other words, we have the ability to perceive how others are flowing their energy – i.e we have the ability to perceive how others are feeling, and we can thus actually really see the system of rivers and floodgates that they are flowing their energy down…
With that in mind…what if the act of ‘taking on’ others’ emotions isn’t literally taking them on, but instead accidentally mistaking their energy flow blueprint for our own.
Our rivers and floodgates and thus our energy flow begins to look like theirs because the line between Me and Them blurs, and we lose ourselves. And so we not only vicariously feel what they feel – we literally feel what they feel, and our energy, our world, begins to flow like theirs.
Perhaps then, emotions are the 6th sense, akin to hearing, or smelling… And that being an empath means that we’ve taken that naturally occurring 6th sense and just expanded it beyond the border of our own skins…
Like I said! A thought I’m playing with right now. Interested in hearing others take on it!
*hugs!*
- Dawn
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