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So! I am moving to Sedona, AZ, to step into my position at the Children of the Sun Foundation. I’m heading out there right away because the person whose duties I am taking over will be going to Peru during the first part of September. My husband, who can take his job with him, is going to remain in the D.C. area, tying up loose ends (like selling his Honda Silverwing – anyone want to buy a scooter? 
) and selling the house.
We thought it over for a bit, and wrote down the things we really wanted to occur with house selling.
Above all we wanted the transition to be easy, graceful and comfortable (you ever make a manifestation list, I highly recommend you include this little bit 
) We wanted to have to do no work to sell the place, even though it needs a new roof, kitchen overhaul, a paint job, etc. We wanted to have enough money out of the sale of the house to put a sizable down payment on a new place. We also wanted to not have to jump through hoops or chase after buyers or play with realtors or any of that – just fun, easy, simple.
A week later, we were talking about our cat, Ms. Kitty, on the way to Trader Joe’s. She’s an amazing cat, and has had quite a life! I wrote an entry about her on my old blog back in June ‘06 (wow, has it only been a year? o.O). She started out her life as Marley, an outside kitty with an owner who would randomly forget about her, and go away on business for extended periods. The neighborhood adopted her, feeding her, loving her, making her comfortable. As winter came on, one couple in particular put out a box for her with old sweaters in it so she’d be warm, and dubbed her The Sweater Box Kitty, and then finally Lady.
When I moved in (and Keith’s ex wife moved out, taking their cat with them) in ‘04, Ms. Kitty was coming by the house on her usual rounds, and one day just sauntered on in! She made herself at home, and we treated her as the guest she was, coming and going, being fed, kept warm, sitting in laps during movie time. We made it official by taking her to the vet, having her all checked out and tagged. She chose to continue to stay with us, and to be a part of the community. We call her Ms. Kitty, because she has so many first names, we didn’t feel it right to give her a new one.
Meanwhile, it ended up that the people who had taken care of her as Lady the Sweater Box Kitty were renting their place from a man who suddenly wanted the house back. It was tough, the husband is the son of the housing cluster’s president, and the couple loved it here, but… the guy had a contract and their lease was up. They moved out in ‘06, but not far – they got an apartment a few blocks down. Right near Trader Joe’s.
So, back to my husband and I in the car, talking about our amazing kitty experiences as we drive to pick up something yummy for dinner. We realized, that Ms. Kitty has never been our cat. She’s been our guest. She’s her own kitty, and the community is her home – not my husband and I, but all the people she touches on her daily rounds. We realized we couldn’t take her with us to Arizona… But someone had to take over as her primary home. We were thinking about this as we walked in to Trader Joe’s. Who would it be?
We got some yummy stuff, and proceeded to the checkout where we bumped into the Sweater Box Kitty Couple! I found my mouth working on its own as I said to them, “We’re moving to Arizona! Would you like a cat? .. .. .. .. and a house?” I said it in a fun yet serious way. Hehe. They were pretty stunned, but totally interested.
Long story short, we’re selling to them. They’ll take possession right around the time their lease at their apartment runs out, February/March’ish next year. We offered it to them for 30k under market value to make it affordable and to offset the work that needs to be done, with the understanding that there’d be no realtors (or fees) involved and that the house sells as is – with the bonus Ms. Kitty! We’ll be walking away with more than enough time to get everything in order, with a perfectly sizable down payment for a new place in AZ, knowing for sure that the house is going to a couple who will love it – and love Ms. Lady Kitty.
The shifting process for me has taken on light speed proportions. I’ve been changing so fast and learning so much and letting so much go that I haven’t even been able to write about it! (I am taking audio notes though ) By the time I integrate and fully understand something, a new thing comes up and off I’m running! A major cycle has just come full circle however, and in a big enough and culminating enough way that I feel I gotta write about it.
This morning I woke up with the questions, “Who am I?” and “What is my purpose?” I am an infinite being, right? And I incarnated, yes? I have had experiences that have brought forth this person that I am right now, totally on purpose from a higher perspective. My higher perspective – the perspective of my higher self, who came into this life for a reason (just like everyone else did).
Who, then, am I right now? And why am I here? I began looking for clues, pondering what this exact lifetime has brought forth in me. I mean, even my natal and Mayan star charts both say I would be who I am right now – but I would not be who I am right now, in a lot of ways, without a whole lot of things coming into play over the span of my life. In other words, I had a plan…
First I went to considering my mom and dad, my choice of parents before incarnating and why I would choose them. The effect my mom and dad had on me, specifically, in being who they were. I suddenly saw a flash of an image, and I drew it! Drawing it helped me to solidify the understanding and really get a grasp of it. Yes, this is a post with pictures to look at! Here is what I saw
At the very bottom, there is the infinite me. My higher self, picking out my life plan for me – parents, location, sacred contracts for life altering events, etc. As we move forward in time, we have me passing through the veil and, of course, totally forgetting I had a plan or an infinite me or anything else. You’ll notice Me is present all the way through time, the guiding higher self with central point balance, The Life Plan in which each moment culminates into a Now me, with a Now purpose.
In other words, there is an unfoldment of identity, and each curve of the cycle has a special purpose of its own – and each one of those purposes lends itself as building blocks of future purposes. Who you are today, in other words, what you’ve learned and the choices you’ve made because of what drives you (your purpose) during this cycle, will build into who you become in the future, and the new purpose you acquire whenever a new cycle begins.
So! Back to the picture. My parent’s energy, masculine and feminine shown there conveniently in pink and blue, effected me as time went on, playing off each other – their individual effects on my life, their genetics in me, etc. They pushed and pulled, my mom being more of a guiding force in the form of giving guidance and suggestions, and my dad in the form of actions. Meanwhile time is moving on, and the masculine and feminine energies, active and receptive, passing through time create a spin that propels me forward through the experiences that shape me into who I was at any given time, and who I am Now.
This was a bit out there for me. I could grasp it, but only abstractly, even with the picture. As soon as I had this realization, another picture flashed. And I drew it too! 
Here it be.
All the things that happened with my mom and my dad both shaping me in their own ways, and with major life-altering experiences, and with the guiding force of my own essential nature, helped me to become the person I wanted to be at any given time as described by the life plan that my own higher self came up with before I was born.
To put it a little more directly, my mom’s guidance (referred to as mom shunt – you know, those wires and the like that you can put on plants to get them to grow in a certain way?) gave me direction. My dad’s actions gave me impetus to move. And major experiences in my life – a lot of them traumatic – ‘forced’ me in a new direction. All of this led my growth, always coming back to center point with my higher self’s life plan. In other words, life has been a training ground for me to Become…me. To know Me.
But not only that… There is a definite shaping going on, as if there is some sort of culminating purpose into which I am being trained to grow (and sometimes despite myself, at that!) – by my own life. Law of Attraction, in other words, is pulling through me via the central Life Plan of my Higher Self… AND Law of Attraction of my own personally incarnated point of awareness is pulling me toward my Now purpose, whatever that may be at any given time – which always happens to coincide with my central Life Plan. AND they’re all working in tandem and in perfect synchronicity with each other. It’s beautiful.
So, with these two pictures, I can in a sense map out the building blocks that are going into the construction of my Life Plan – which I’m still ignorant of and I guess will continue to be until I merge back into my higher self. The building blocks of previous cycles are clues to future Now, Life Plan purpose cycles…
I wrote down the major things I learned during the previous cycles – that I can think of. For all I know learning how to play chess when I was 11 will come up hugely when I’m 43, for some reason. There are some real gems that I was able to pinpoint as obvious culminations of major cycles, though, and those are the ones I wrote. Empathy, Compassion, Language skills, Leadership skills, Interpersonal skills, Ability to Personally Relate to people, and the Ability to See the Highest Potential in an individual.
Putting these clues together… my best answer to my original questions of, “Who am I?” and “What is my purpose?” is to add ‘for this Now?’ on the end of those questions, and then to point to the most recent trends and fulfilled purposes. It’s important for me to also recognize that my Now has definitely entered a new cycle with tons of things changing – a lot of stuff is leaving my life, and a whole lot of new stuff is coming in beginning in the near future. Right now I’m between cycles, the tail end of the last cycle slowly winding down, even as a ramping up into the beginning of a new one is taking place – that much is definitely clear. It’s probably why I’m asking myself the questions in the first place.
So, everything seems to be pointing to discovering how to instill that vision of highest potential into people, so I don’t have to be the one to hold it for them. Holding it for them doesn’t empower them – I need to learn how to see it and give it so people aren’t at all dependent on me, and so that my identity isn’t wrapped up in their personal growth.
I think there is much more to this as well…but I have enough to give me pointers on which direction I’ll want to be turning in! And enough so that I feel comfortable. And that’s good enough for now.
I’m sharing the images and all of this because I have a feeling that these concepts can be at least loosely applied by anyone, to their own lives… Mapping out your own life, seeing the experiences (both traumatic and wonderful) for the gifts they’ve given in shaping who you are today – and who you will become – all in line with your own personally chosen Life Plan. It can really give a sense of peacefulness, and an ability to relax into the unfolding of each cycle’s Now identity.
So much has shifted and happened that I barely know where to begin! Let me start by saying that it’s all great amazing stuff.
I have accepted a position with the Children of the Sun foundation as Marketing and Communications/Public Relations/Planetary Grid Liason. I will be writing the Children of the Sun newsletters starting next month, maintaining the Planetary Grid project and the newsletter for that, and many other awesome things. I will be flying out to Sedona on the 6th for vacation with my husband, coming back on the 16th, packing my Rav4, and then heading out again a couple days later for a road trip journey across the country – on my own.
I’ll be living in the foundation house, which is right on the creek that flows by Cathedral Rock Vortex – basically like 30 yards from the vortex itself – and maintaining it until my friend Pat sells her house in Fairfax, VA, buys the foundation house, and moves on up to join me living there. Shortly thereafter, probably around the beginning of next year after my husband and my’s house in Reston, VA is sold, he’ll be coming up to join me and we’ll be moving to Flagstaff.
Yah! A lot has happened! I will be interviewed on the 20th of September (probably while in a hotel room on the road) on the Stargate to the New Earth radio show at 10pmEST, and on the 25th the Awakening with Dawn radio show will go live for the first time, to air at 9pmEST every Tuesday from then on until something new happens. There will be a website for it up soon, and I’ll post it here when I have it. Here’s my description of the show:
Awakening with Dawn
Awakening is an ongoing process – it could even be referred to as Remembering – ever unfolding as we reach for new heights as the unlimited beings we truly are. Right here, right now, however…these are very special times – a mass awakening is occurring as we all wake up, look around, and decide to choose again. To choose to create with joyousness as our guide. “Awakening with Dawn,” is a program specifically designed to help each person step into their power during this time of mass awakening.
Available live and as a podcast, the hour long show is split into three parts. The first segment is comprised of Dawn speaking of the current energetic trends, what’s been brought up in the group consciousness and ways in which each person can individually work with this to gain the full benefit of this particular nudge from the Universe.
During the second part, a different guest speaker each week will be invited into the space, to share their own special gifts and insights as to how we can all better step into our empowerment as we awaken to more of that which we are. Some of the topics we’ll be touching upon during the first season will be the new Empathic awareness we’re all awakening to, moving energy for health and wellness, and how to maintain balance with our rapidly expanding consciousness.
The third part of the show will be a guided meditation. These will be fully energetically engaged, with information, healing energy and more being transferred through the sound of Dawn’s voice, always for the greatest and highest good. Activations, attunements, planetary grid transmissions, channellings, healing through the Archangels – whatever is most needed by those who are listening in live. The power of this is available through the podcast as well, but to get in on the group energy as it unfolds, listening live is recommended.
To that end, we just did a test show! It’s half an hour long, and full of phone glitches, loud music, bouncing internet connections and more It’s also a very candid introduction to myself, and how I got where I am at this point on my journey.
The best part is that I mention how I had to say goodbye to Steve/Twin Flame the other day because I’m heading off to Sedona, and if you listen close (it’s like right at 27 minutes in) you can hear my cell phone beep! He randomly txt’d me right when I mentioned him. Talk about no separation! It’s worth a listen, there’s actually some interesting stuff.
Awakening with Dawn Test Show
August 24th, 2007
Length: 30 minutes
Format: Windows Media
Hm… Well, it seems that the disconnect of which I spoke in the last post is another one of those self-imposed things. A automatic defense system that triggered off in me in response to the overwhelm… Could call it a numbing out and a ‘I’ll disconnect from you before you disconnect from me!’ reaction that I wasn’t even aware I was doing.
Another thing, I understand more now regarding the whole Akira Dawn thing… I already am me, I can’t be anything but me, and to think that I can sidestep a bunch of stuff that is still limiting my view of the world is false. I can see so many limitations in myself, and I have a feeling I believed I had found a Get Out of Jail Free card in this newfound way of seeing the world – this new internal balance point, free of attachment or dependence…
This basically just isn’t true. The balance point shift is a wonderful, beautiful thing, but it’s not what I thought it was. I’m just getting bigger in my perspective, not jettisoning fundamental limitations I’m still holding on to. It’s a long process, not a month long process – it’s the same process we’re all going through.
I did make a major break through in understanding…and I misunderstood some major things along the way, too. It’s not about disconnecting and reconnecting in a whole new way. It’s about transformation while connected. Connection is where the deep beauty in life arises from, and the wonder of being human. If my higher self wanted to come here and be my higher self, I wouldn’t be here doing what I’m doing.
So – is this a wonderful thing? Yes. And I am going to continue with it in a more (w)holistic way now. Is it the answer to all problems and self-limitations? No – it’s just another step along the way. One that feels great! But…just another step.
I’ll leave the other post intact, as an illustration of the meanderings that a person can take while going through all of this, and add a link on the end of it pointing to this post.
My husband, who is now awakening to his own potential as a spiritual teacher, said something very profound the other day. He said, “Going with the flow is abandoning fear.”
He said this in response to my telling him about the fear coming up in me in response to all the incredibly wonderful things that have happened in my life all of a sudden. Major life-change things, such as:
I’ve started a new job at a place I have always loved. It’s a metaphysical store called Terra Christa (Earth Angel – nice, eh?
Next, not long ago I received the Sedona Call, we’ll call it.
Last but not least, I was contacted by the Stargate to the New Earth show to do an interview.
So, we bought the plane tickets to Sedona on Monday the 30th of July (making that very real – a commitment to change). I started work at Terra Christa, filling out my employment forms, getting a time card, etc., and beginning my training (making that very real – another commitment to change) and was offered the interview and radio show, and accepted and even came up with a name for it (making it also very real – another commitment to change) on the same day, Tuesday July 31st.
So! This rocked my reality. Big time. In a great way! but… it took me quite a while to integrate, and until this post only a handful of people know about all of the above commitments. It was kinda like, I was willing to take on its realness in myself, but sharing it with the world made it real-er than I was ready for. Until now. But wait! There’s more!
And then, totally unexpectedly my husband asked for a reading on the reasons for him going to Sedona. And upon doing the reading, we discovered that he is going in order to wake up to his own potential as a spiritual teacher. It was as if I had entered Bizarro land or something. He wasn’t at all surprised, and I was floored. He even borrowed one of my books (The Path of the Dreamhealer by Adam Dreamhealer – just came out last month). Everything is now shifting on this front in my relating to him – in a good way! Just in a very different, pivotal change way. (sound familiar?)
And then, my partner twin flame Steve announced just the other day that he has been contacted by the founder of the Qigong Center for Natural Healing pretty much proclaiming him as a prodigy among students with great potential to be a teacher, and extending a personal invitation for him to come out immediately and learn on the fly as they give their last seminars for the year in California. This is amazing and so incredibly great for him! And yes – he is that good.
My world changed massively. And now my major balancing touchstones just changed right before my eyes. They’re still there, of course – they’re just changing the same way I am. I became pretty distraught and feeling as if I was in total limbo.
I sat there Monday morning, pondering to myself. My personal balance apparently was dependent upon outside things – people, environment, circumstances. Things that I was afraid of losing. That I was afraid of changing because it would make me lose my balance. I felt a total loss of power, like a boat without a motor that didn’t have the ability to push off of anything in order to gain movement in a direction. Was there another way to do things? There had to be, because as long as my balance is dependent upon things that are subject to change, I am subject to losing my balance.
It couldn’t be myself, because I change so fast and so fundamentally that I’m not a dependable, solid, unchanging touchstone. I have never been the guru type – I’m too big on the personal empowerment, and finding the answers within thing to go for that. And because of that also, I haven’t been draw to place faith (i.e. create a touchstone) in a deity of any kind, either, though I know they exist and they’re beautiful and serve that purpose greatly for others. No…it had to be something else. It had to be me…to come from within, but not the little me because that changes. It had to be the Big Me. The higher self.
And suddenly it all made sense. My higher self! Yes! Yes, I do believe my higher self does change, but this lifetime is like a blink of an eye in comparison to its timeline. It changes at a glacial pace – and I decided that I could rely on something that changes that slowly as a touchstone. It probably serves a purpose I haven’t thought of yet to have a touchstone that does change and evolve with you, anyway.
So, with that in mind, I went and lay down and invoke the presence of my higher self. I channeled my higher self in a way I never had before, requesting the presence to fill me, to embody me, and to link with me. I asked for permission to shift my balance point, to make that commitment to change, and was granted it along with a deep sense of joy and pride that I had ‘arrived’.
I felt my energy make a loop and saw a white circle of light connecting my higher self and me, with my body vehicle and chakra system being the bridge. The shift was that I had chosen to stop looking outside of myself to be told who I am – instead I was looking to myself. ‘The circle is complete’ was the sense I got, along with many other ideas about sensing the world from a place of oneness instead of separation. Of many different things.
I felt drawn to do a tarot reading for myself all of a sudden, so did. Three cards flew out of the deck, and I felt very embodied. I wasn’t doing things the way I normally would, I felt like I was… not exactly a puppet, but like I had given partial control to something bigger than myself. The three cards landed in a vertical line, with their positions being important and apparently representative of the ‘circle’ that was completed. The cards were: The Magician (Alchemy), The Lovers (Divine Union), The World, from top to bottom.
The understanding I received was a profound sense of gratitude from my higher self for my existence and my willingness to be scared and ignorant and unaware of my own true power – and in that space, face the unknown. By my embodying in the world as a divine union between the world and my higher self, I am providing my higher self with the opportunity to change and grow and transmute lead into gold. And not just my higher self… All that is is benefiting, as well, and that all of humanity is benefiting from my transmuting my self limitations – on a direct level by my sharing the stories, and on an indirect level through the group conscious and as my being a living example of what can be done.
So! This was on Monday. Since then…everything’s gotten a little weird. It ends up that this shift isn’t immediate – it’s a process. I have a lot of ties and investments to this world and the people in it. I’ve been doing a lot of leaning, in a matter of speaking. The process is involving a drawing inward – and it is hugely making spiritual blockages in my beingness readily apparent. I have an inkling that this will continue for a while… perhaps until that lunar eclipse on the 28th of this month, when the world’s consciousness blinks for a moment.
Parts of me are very scared… in a lot of ways it’s like dying to yourself. I see my ties to people and things slowly dissolving and a part of me really wants to cling, big time. To find reasons to be afraid, to close down, to clench and fear and…refuse. And yet I have come to the understanding that once I withdraw completely, and then outward again, the outward will be much healthier and will come from that place of assurance and trust in the flow.
With my balance point coming from within, I will have nothing to fear. I will no longer have to rely on others to tell me who I am. I will instead be able to love them for who they are, and enjoy them for all that they are and all that they offer to my life by their existence and expression. I won’t be dependent upon place, or people, or events… I will still be Dawn, but this will be the birthing of a new Dawn – this will be the arrival of Akira Dawn. The Bright One, the Bringer of Light.
Part of me is going, “Wait! Hold on a second!” to the whole idea. The part that believes in a need to protect and separate and keep safe and defend and hold apart. The other part of me is going, “Yes.” And that’s it. The fear part of me is all about fear for the future, and the need to act preemptively to protect myself, to plan for an attack or pain and against the unknown. The love part of me is Now. It doesn’t know the future or the past, it just Is, in the Flow, and its loving every moment of it.
I have a feeling that this – this shifting to a new balance point – and bringing this to others is going to be playing a very large part in my service to humanity. I’ll have to go through it first myself, like everything else I offer anyone, and get a lay of the land. I do believe that this will be an integral part of the Light Body Activation that I will be learning in Sedona.
For now, I will continue through the process (which has thus far included everything from physical healing crisis to relationship crisis to depression to euphoria) and report back from the edge.
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