The shifting process for me has taken on light speed proportions. I’ve been changing so fast and learning so much and letting so much go that I haven’t even been able to write about it! (I am taking audio notes though ) By the time I integrate and fully understand something, a new thing comes up and off I’m running! A major cycle has just come full circle however, and in a big enough and culminating enough way that I feel I gotta write about it.

This morning I woke up with the questions, “Who am I?” and “What is my purpose?” I am an infinite being, right? And I incarnated, yes? I have had experiences that have brought forth this person that I am right now, totally on purpose from a higher perspective. My higher perspective – the perspective of my higher self, who came into this life for a reason (just like everyone else did).

Who, then, am I right now? And why am I here? I began looking for clues, pondering what this exact lifetime has brought forth in me. I mean, even my natal and Mayan star charts both say I would be who I am right now – but I would not be who I am right now, in a lot of ways, without a whole lot of things coming into play over the span of my life. In other words, I had a plan…

First I went to considering my mom and dad, my choice of parents before incarnating and why I would choose them. The effect my mom and dad had on me, specifically, in being who they were. I suddenly saw a flash of an image, and I drew it! Drawing it helped me to solidify the understanding and really get a grasp of it. Yes, this is a post with pictures to look at! Here is what I saw

Click for Ginormous Image!

At the very bottom, there is the infinite me. My higher self, picking out my life plan for me – parents, location, sacred contracts for life altering events, etc. As we move forward in time, we have me passing through the veil and, of course, totally forgetting I had a plan or an infinite me or anything else. You’ll notice Me is present all the way through time, the guiding higher self with central point balance, The Life Plan in which each moment culminates into a Now me, with a Now purpose.

In other words, there is an unfoldment of identity, and each curve of the cycle has a special purpose of its own – and each one of those purposes lends itself as building blocks of future purposes. Who you are today, in other words, what you’ve learned and the choices you’ve made because of what drives you (your purpose) during this cycle, will build into who you become in the future, and the new purpose you acquire whenever a new cycle begins.

So! Back to the picture. My parent’s energy, masculine and feminine shown there conveniently in pink and blue, effected me as time went on, playing off each other – their individual effects on my life, their genetics in me, etc. They pushed and pulled, my mom being more of a guiding force in the form of giving guidance and suggestions, and my dad in the form of actions. Meanwhile time is moving on, and the masculine and feminine energies, active and receptive, passing through time create a spin that propels me forward through the experiences that shape me into who I was at any given time, and who I am Now.

This was a bit out there for me. I could grasp it, but only abstractly, even with the picture. As soon as I had this realization, another picture flashed. And I drew it too! Here it be.

Click for Ginormous Image!

All the things that happened with my mom and my dad both shaping me in their own ways, and with major life-altering experiences, and with the guiding force of my own essential nature, helped me to become the person I wanted to be at any given time as described by the life plan that my own higher self came up with before I was born.

To put it a little more directly, my mom’s guidance (referred to as mom shunt – you know, those wires and the like that you can put on plants to get them to grow in a certain way?) gave me direction. My dad’s actions gave me impetus to move. And major experiences in my life – a lot of them traumatic – ‘forced’ me in a new direction. All of this led my growth, always coming back to center point with my higher self’s life plan. In other words, life has been a training ground for me to Become…me. To know Me.

But not only that… There is a definite shaping going on, as if there is some sort of culminating purpose into which I am being trained to grow (and sometimes despite myself, at that!) – by my own life. Law of Attraction, in other words, is pulling through me via the central Life Plan of my Higher Self… AND Law of Attraction of my own personally incarnated point of awareness is pulling me toward my Now purpose, whatever that may be at any given time – which always happens to coincide with my central Life Plan. AND they’re all working in tandem and in perfect synchronicity with each other. It’s beautiful.

So, with these two pictures, I can in a sense map out the building blocks that are going into the construction of my Life Plan – which I’m still ignorant of and I guess will continue to be until I merge back into my higher self. The building blocks of previous cycles are clues to future Now, Life Plan purpose cycles…

I wrote down the major things I learned during the previous cycles – that I can think of. For all I know learning how to play chess when I was 11 will come up hugely when I’m 43, for some reason. There are some real gems that I was able to pinpoint as obvious culminations of major cycles, though, and those are the ones I wrote. Empathy, Compassion, Language skills, Leadership skills, Interpersonal skills, Ability to Personally Relate to people, and the Ability to See the Highest Potential in an individual.

Putting these clues together… my best answer to my original questions of, “Who am I?” and “What is my purpose?” is to add ‘for this Now?’ on the end of those questions, and then to point to the most recent trends and fulfilled purposes. It’s important for me to also recognize that my Now has definitely entered a new cycle with tons of things changing – a lot of stuff is leaving my life, and a whole lot of new stuff is coming in beginning in the near future. Right now I’m between cycles, the tail end of the last cycle slowly winding down, even as a ramping up into the beginning of a new one is taking place – that much is definitely clear. It’s probably why I’m asking myself the questions in the first place.

So, everything seems to be pointing to discovering how to instill that vision of highest potential into people, so I don’t have to be the one to hold it for them. Holding it for them doesn’t empower them – I need to learn how to see it and give it so people aren’t at all dependent on me, and so that my identity isn’t wrapped up in their personal growth.

I think there is much more to this as well…but I have enough to give me pointers on which direction I’ll want to be turning in! And enough so that I feel comfortable. And that’s good enough for now.

I’m sharing the images and all of this because I have a feeling that these concepts can be at least loosely applied by anyone, to their own lives… Mapping out your own life, seeing the experiences (both traumatic and wonderful) for the gifts they’ve given in shaping who you are today – and who you will become – all in line with your own personally chosen Life Plan. It can really give a sense of peacefulness, and an ability to relax into the unfolding of each cycle’s Now identity.